Do Hard With
Over the last few months, I have experienced a feeling that I cannot shake. The truth is, it is more than just a gut feeling or a hunch. As a systems thinker, I have noticed some shifts and patterns that lead me to believe a change is coming.
This may sound like a bold statement, but I believe we are on the verge of a cultural awakening. Everything in my being says that in a few hundred years, stories will be told about this era. This time in history may have a recognizable name, much like the Age of Enlightenment or the Industrial Revolution. I believe there will be a clear way to mark the beginning and ending of the season we are in.
Being on the leading edge of a collective awakening should force us to wrestle with one very essential question.
Before I share that question, let me name some of the things I have noticed.
Many of the systems we have depended on for generations are starting to fail. Systems often collapse when the frontline workers – those who directly interact and engage with customers – can no longer hold up the weight of the entire system.
Over the last year or so, we have seen a significant shift in the fast food and retail industry. Frontline workers – those who take your payment at the drive-through window or scan your items at Target – were no longer willing to work at the lowest hourly rate or without other benefits such as college tuition reimbursement, mental health resources, or retirement plans. To avoid a collapse, many fast food and retail operations – built on the backs of hourly employees – made major changes to their compensation and benefits packages. They did this to save the systems.
We are also witnessing struggling systems like health care, education, and college athletics. Nurses are demanding better working conditions, teachers are leaving the profession, and I firmly believe we will see a mass exodus of college coaches in the next three to five years. These forward-facing, frontline, customer-interacting employees can no longer sustain the weight of outdated, top-heavy systems.
Systems are going to collapse. Change is coming.
But systems are complex and complex problems require complex solutions. There is nothing quick or simple about the change that is on the horizon. Change is hard.
Which leads to the question I think we all need to wrestle with: “Who do you want to do the hard with?” Life is not about looking for ways to escape or avoid the hard. Instead, a healthy approach is to think deeply about who you want to navigate the hard with. As we make big life decisions, we should ask, “are these the people I want to do the hard with?”
I have a client that I work with on a regular basis. They were able to hire me because they applied for and received a grant, but this also means there is a limit to their funding. The truth is, they don’t pay me very well, but I said yes to this client because I love doing the hard with them. They are the kind of people who are up for anything, and as a group, they crave opportunities for growth. I choose to do the hard with them.
And then I think about a player I used to work with, who arrived at college as a promising 5-star prospect. She did very well her freshman year, but her team struggled to win games, so she transferred. She was unhappy at her new school, so she transferred again. We recently reconnected, and I asked her about her journey. She was quick to tell me that she didn’t realize how good she had it her freshman year. I asked her what was so good about that year, and she simply replied, “the people.” Like many things in life, being a college athlete is HARD. Again, who do you want to do the hard with?
This question also applies to the people in my innermost circle. They are flawed, scarred, and they each have struggles and issues. They are far from perfect, but when life gets hard, I want to do the hard with them. I choose these people time and time again.
I believe our culture is about to awaken from a prolonged period of deep sleep. We’ve been going through the motions for a very long time. This process may include dismantling systems, tossing out old ways of doing things, and embracing the possibility that life could be different. While I am energized and excited by what I think is coming, I know one thing for sure: it’s going to be hard.
When we surround ourselves with the right people – those we choose to do the hard with – we move the hard from pointless to purposeful. This mindset shift impacts our energy and influences our ability to create meaningful change in the world.
Who do you want to do the hard with? Choose wisely.
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