Not This

It’s another Friday afternoon at Lambert Airport in St. Louis. For some reason, today feels different. I used to like this airport. It is close to my house, it has a limited number of gates, which means it is manageable, and it is simple to navigate. But at this moment, I only see the things I dislike.

For example, good luck finding any food that wasn’t first frozen and then deep fried. Your options here are limited. Additionally, I can promise that 75% of the time, the escalator to the baggage claim area will be shut down for repairs. Be prepared to hull your carry-on luggage down a flight of steps. I am also confident that 40% of the time, the only women's bathroom in the baggage claim area will have a sign that says closed for cleaning, but there won’t be an employee in sight.

This airport doesn’t scream, “Welcome to our city! We are so glad you are here! This is a special place!” Instead, it mumbles while smacking gum, “Welcome to mediocre. You are here.” I want a better experience for myself and for others who are visiting my city.

Fast forward a few hours, and I have arrived in Atlanta. This airport has an endless supply of creative dining options, and all the escalators and restrooms appear to be in working order.

But it is chaos. Suddenly, I wondered if we accidentally landed in Mumbai.

I walked past 40 gates in the terminal, dodging countless weary passengers, and made my way down a long escalator to get to a train. There were so many people in line that, despite a heroic effort, several trains came and went before I made my way on. When I finally entered a train, I noticed some liquid on the floor. As the train moved forward, it all rolled forward, and with each stop, it rolled to the back. A guy standing shoulder to shoulder with me saw me staring at the floor. He simply said, “Cat pee.”

I asked, “What makes you think it’s cat pee?”

He replied, “A couple who got off at the last stop had a cat with them. They arrived from Tokyo, and it peed on the floor just before you got on.”

Great, only four more stops on this train with me trying to sidestep the cat pee sloshing around at my feet while every part of my body is pressed up against my fellow travelers.

I finally got off the train, walked down a long corridor, and then up an escalator with hundreds of people. I felt like I was playing human Frogger as I walked through the baggage claim area and into the ride-share station. It continued to be pure madness.

It was 45 minutes before my ride arrived, and at some point, I heard myself say out loud, “This isn’t the airport for me either.”

Sometimes, figuring out what we want requires us first to name what we don’t want. We have to give ourselves permission to say, “Not this.”

Far too often, I hear leaders say things like, “Don’t come to me with a problem if you don’t have a solution.” Or “Don’t complain if you don’t have a better option.” But sometimes, problem-solving requires us to say, “Not this.” In other words, we can cross this option off the list.

This is a healthy and scientific approach. Whenever we eliminate an option, we move closer to the solution. This applies in business, but it also applies in life.

I have embraced this mindset while leading my own life. Maintaining my peace requires me to frequently say, “Not this.”

I am reminded of my experience with my favorite Real Estate agent. We had looked at many homes, and I felt bad about the number of times I said, "I'm sorry. This one has some aspects I really like, but it’s not my future home.” She noticed that every time I said no, I started with, “I’m sorry.”

At one point – after yet another, “I’m sorry, this isn’t the one,” – she stopped me. She said, “Every time you say no, you are giving me more data, more information, more clues to help me find the perfect home for you.” I loved that she, too, embraced a “Not this” mindset.

In leadership, Real Estate, and in life, we are better equipped to create the path we desire when we embrace a “Not this” approach.

Give yourself permission to say, “Not this,” keep your head up while you consider other options, but occasionally look down. There might be some cat pee sloshing around your feet, and for me, cat pee will always be an easy “Not this.”

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