I am writing this from 30,000 feet while the moment is still fresh in my mind.

Tomorrow morning, I have a keynote in California. My travel day requires a 4-hour flight departing at 6 p.m.

Around 2:00 p.m., my phone started dinging with text messages from Southwest.

Flight delayed one hour. Flight on time. Flight delayed 45 minutes. Flight on time.

The text messages continued for the next couple of hours. Delayed. On time. Delayed. On time.

Can we agree that there is simply no good time to paint the inside of a house? I recently had a conversation with myself that sounded something like, “Look, self, there is no ideal time for this, but the house really needs to be painted. Let’s just do it now, and you’ll love it when it is done.”

I can be very persuasive.

Soon after that conversation, I hired a painter who, after looking at my home, said I needed to buy five gallons of paint. Five gallons. That felt like a major commitment.

It was clear to me that something was off in her leadership, but I couldn’t name it. So, I shifted into observer mode to see what I could learn. Over time, it became clear that she embraced being in charge but didn’t want to be responsible.

That was a lightbulb moment for me.

Now that I have language for it, I’ve realized this is a common, dangerous, and toxic trait in leadership.

Over the last few years, we’ve watched as companies report strong profits while laying off their employees.

For the last seven years, every spring and every fall, I’ve led a six-week leadership development series at a local university.

We’ve always met on Thursdays from 9-11 am, and I have my departure time down to a science. If I pull out of my driveway at exactly 7:45 am, I know how long it will take me to get onto the interstate and how long I will wait at the 170/64 merge.

In fact, I can also promise you that if I leave on time, I will park my car on the 5th floor of the parking garage that is attached to the building where I facilitate. Not only will I park on the 5th floor of a very full garage, but one of the first five spots on the right, just past the elevator, will be open. I will pull into one of those spots at 8:22 am on the dot.

I say all this with absolute certainty.

In this post, a simple roof replacement experience reveals key lessons in leadership: the importance of listening, building trust, and providing exactly what your team needs—no more, no less.